Being Single Past Forty

From numerous conversations I have had with my friends who are single and over forty, I have found that I am not the only one finding this a very unsettling place to be. Common themes seem to emerge from the single women I have spoken with. By the way, I do not really know any single men over forty or perhaps my friends and I would not be single :) Therein lies what seems to be an inherent problem with being single past forty... a lack of an effective means of bringing everyone together.

Life changes for you when you become single at this stage (and later I suspect) because society still operates in a very outdated fashion. It isn't until you are thrown in to this abyss that you get the full realization of just how different it is. A lot of my single friends find that their friends who are couples rarely include "single people" when they are having a dinner party or "get together". These tend to still revolve around "couples".

Therefore single people can feel left out of social gatherings simply because they do not have a significant other... as if they are not enough on their own. Having been single and attached... I kind of have looked at this example from both sides of the fence. Sometimes, as a host, if you are inviting all couples, you may feel like a single person would be uncomfortable coming alone. And sometimes they would. For example, when I was first single (a few years ago) I absolutely did not want to hang out at couples gatherings because I always felt like the "odd one out", however, having said that, I think as I have matured and once gain find myself single, this is less bothersome to me.

Now I would place more value on spending time with the people I care about than on my own insecurities. Unfortunately, there isn't a "right way" or a "wrong way" hand book available and we all seem to stumble upon our own comfort level when new situations are thrown at us.

Weekends and evenings can be lonely times when people become single. As well, looking forward, after the kids have grown up and left home I often wonder how life will be then. that sounds like the logical time to invite a relationship back in to your life but it is not without it's challenge. More on this topic later...